Friday..Homesick..

又是星期五..星期五总是让我想家..所以每次都很期待可以回去的那个星期..其实真的不可以这样..我还要在这里这么久..不可以这样下去..我想念家人..在这里其实的感觉一点都不好..那时成长的感觉..从以前开始的我就不喜欢那两个字'成长'..
一边写blog..一边听着以前33给我的一张album..是一张婚礼的cd..叫做我们爱神因为神先爱我们..我很喜欢听里面的音乐..轻轻柔柔的音乐..以前每次考试很紧张就会在读书之前拿来听听舒缓情绪..很久没开来听..现在开来听..很有回忆的感觉..^^
考完midterm test..我整个人都在放空..没有听课..maths的differentiation整课都没有在听..很讨厌数学 ..每次一要上这堂课..我就好害怕..law很是随便敷衍得听听...都不记得整个courts在讲什么..在这样下去我都不懂要怎么办....考试又考到乱乱差差..没有用心去考..班上的人都考到很好..我很怕我真的没有那种头脑可以像他们一样..来这里读书之前答应自己要做到最好..要用功读书去实现梦想..现在的我又算什么..一下努力..一下放弃..没有保持..又怎样可以坚持到最后..
我没有时间再给我浪费..我一定要每天读书..我要好成绩..我要出国留学..可是对我来讲为什么总是那么困难？..
我不可以再像以前那样..懒懒散散..敷衍了事..我要改变..
他都已经在努力的改变着..而我还在原地踏步...我很幼稚的生气你好像不理我...那一晚我想了很多...经过时间的带领..你一直在努力的进步自己..我真的希望你可以努力成为你想要成为的..所以我不会再生气了..我也不会在扰你..我也不需要再持守着以前的的回忆....我想以你为一点点的榜样..^^那曾经真诚的在意..我不会再让它在我心里..

                挺可爱的的背影^^..哈哈哈哈...

Loading to a better life

Tomorrow my starting point to become better and better!!...Finally my church 献堂礼 already finish on yesterday..it is great event and we celebrate joyfully..Happy birthday to my lovely Herald Presbyterian church^^hahaha...A few more days i am going to enjoy my 1 week holiday...hooray for holidays..but i think that is not enough for me!!..it is only 1 week..many thing are waiting for me to do it..and the time are not enough..TT..i also want to study in this holiday...because my mid-term exam will be around mid of September..I am so afraid about it...long essay answer make me in trouble...everything are gonna to memories and memories...understand and understand...I am going to beat my brains out and figure them out..but i cannot sure i can understand them totally..with this familiar phase "nothing is impossible with our God lead..help..and power"...all the glory to our God..Amen..^^

 I want to go seaside!!...i want to enjoy sunset glow..snorkeling in the bright sky-blue sea water..the sea breeze blow on me..It is fresh! excited! happiness! ^^

look at the future...

ohhh..about 1 month..my jiejie gonna to leave malaysia to have her oversea study in Manchester..wow..very congrat to her can continue her study in UK...and i am waiting for her graduation because i can go to UK on that time ..hehehe^^..i think that is too early to think about such thing..hahahaha...

yesterday we just went for her Pre-departure briefing by Manchester uni..It make me having a feel..but i do not know how to describe the feeling..but i hope that i also can have oversea study in future..I sincerely hope that i can leave Malaysia..hahaha....i hope i can have a 外国人as my future husband^^...opps..this show me i think too much..hehe..So the most important thing is achieve good result in A-level..study hard hard hard...!!!!...Study Hard is actually is just a simple word..but why that is so HARD to do it..haizzzzz....I want to change my attitude when studying..I wanna to found a more suitable way for me to work it hard..Aza..aza..fighting..^^

recall some momories..ready to meet my 18 years old..

It is the time for me to update my blog..but i feel like nothing to write... i feel my life is lack of some energy..I need the energy to let my life become more wonderful..I need some energy to continue my goal..where can i get the energy..when i am in secondary school..i think love will be the power to move on..one of my friend tell me '为了一双眼睛而努力'..i am a person that will do it this way..sometime i feel that i need this love to motivate myself...A very long time din see him..although the feel is not strong enough now..but i quite miss the time with him..if can..wanna to be more closely friend again..he maybe already forget about me..nevermind.i dun care..I just dun want to forget about him..today is a lonely friday..the raining day make me recall about him..

 I really miss the time when i was young..i was carry a powerpuff girl bag to sg with lao e..enjoyed a delicious sg laksa in hawker centre..but this laksa shop already move to other place..and i could not found it again since a long time...with the time pass..everything has change...bye my ignorant younger time..i am ready to meet my 18 years old..^^Hope i can have a memorable 18th birthday^^.....

      skip to a glorious way of life..that is live in  the way we want!!!..

可以吗?

谁可以来让我倾诉我的一切..我很怕..我一直认为我有能力熬过去..可是..现在不是我用功努力的问题了..是我怕到半夜都会吓醒..坐在床上一直哭..我真的很怕我考不好..我无法胜任...我一直相信这一条路是对的..可是直到昨天..我的头脑一直想一直想..我越来越怀疑..我越来越害怕..
我本是想责怪你..为什么要为我决定一条这么难的道路..难道就没有其他的选则..以后可以link出国..可是我懂我没有理由去怪你..所以当我想和你分享我面对的一切..你为什么要那样说..我真的没有想过你会讲这种话..所以我不会再把我的事情告述你..对你...我要永远的沉默..所以你现在对我说鼓励的话...抱歉..我连一句都觉得很不开心！！！....
我明白没有东西是容易的..要成功..就要付出代价..现在的我很害怕..是不是我付出了..就一定可以..那一本一本厚厚的书..我看到真的觉得很困...我有时在想如果我去help读..他也是一样难...我就可以把我的努力和梦想连接..A level我真的看不到他和我的未来有什么关系..可是我已经没有回头的路..也没有理由去说早知道这3个字...只有不断的努力..看看最后的成果..

                              对上帝要有信心..道路有多难走..祂会是我们随时的帮助..

我真的可以坚持到最后吗？..我真的可以每天不断的读那些厚厚的书？..我真的可以每天都在做练习吗？...TT哭完了..又再一次刚强起来！！！..

21 june ^^

Finally my mpw presentation is over..hooray!!!..happy!!!..actually this is not the time for me to happy right now..after my mpw classes..i will start my a level classes..haha..that must be a time for me to study hard..i wan be the top student same with baba..^^...This week i will go for a trip in port dickson..i dun have any excited feel..but i know i got excited feel to go back to my hometown kluang!!..hehe...^^

 wow..this is my cute daughter..pigpiglet..i love it so much^^

How am i going to achieve my AIM!!!...so many thing i wan to do..and it take a long time if really din care it so much..i wait for too long..i dun wan to envy people anymore..i wan be the ONE tat....i know tat..hehe^^
I know i am envy so many people..before that i am not like that..i believe in GOD..i strongly believe that GOD will prepare anything that is suitable for me..but now i am back to the fomer!!..i scare i will a bit to hate myself..i am the one who want to baptise soon..but the meaning for this is lost..how??..i scare this religion is only the practice..not from my heart sincerely..even now i am lazy to Pray..i am very scare..
Gambateh for life..never give up..my belief..my a level study..my AIM..my dream..myself!!!!...^^

currently like this girl so much..hehe..she is from the korea group Miss A..suzy and the actor of dreamhigh..this girl is so pretty and cute..i like her hair colour..and i have the motion to dye my hair to this colour..but my friend said dye this colour will spoil the hair..and i dun think this colour will suit my skin colour..because i am so dark..TT..haizzzz..

improve ENG^^

Today my post will be using English..Although my english is so poor..super terrible grammar mistake..but now i want to improve..i want to learn..i dun like english music..now i want give try to enjoy eng music..i dun like eng movie..but i want watch..Begin from now..because of my cambridge A level..because i want to go oversea to study..i want many thing!!..i want give a try to speak eng proudly..loudly..!!!..

taking a 38 picture with  my little piglet ^^..haha

since a long time din write anything in blog..because of LAZY to update..hehe^^
Now i am quite enjoy with my new life..new AIM..i meet all my new friends..they are good and quite nice to talk..before enter inti..i scare i am alone..i scare i cannot have fren at here..but with GOD lead..everything is going on very smoothly..cannot say that is very smooth..because the most important things haven come true..hehe..start from JULY..my a level lesson will be start..that will a busy life for me..many people say that a level is so difficult..hard...dun care about that..just keep on going..strive..will be a suceess..

Next tuesday will be the presentation day for my mpw..actually..i have a bit afraid..This is the 1st time i will speak eng on the stage..wearing a formal attire..hehe..it is quite exited n fear..haha..
 An unhappy thing is that...inti life make me FAT..because of my burger meal..my kg increase..TT..haizzzz..so now i would like to have self control..hehe..because i dun wan be a fat fat girl..i am so short!!!cannot FAT!!!!..
Next month i am going to participate a CAMP..i dun know why i am so happy and exited with this camp..hehe..this is the 1st time i participate this type of meaningful camp..hehe..it is call hungry30..lol..^^
so this coming holiday..i have a special JOB to do..hehehe...everyone which want to donate money to poor people and show your concern to this society..please come and see me..!!..i will help your..hehe..